Wednesday,June 12
Early morning, after a time of personal worship, I was overwhelmed with anxiety, dread and fear.
My daughter, Madeline, her husband, Mike, and my granddaughter, Amanda are working together to sell their home in Wyoming to move to a smaller place closer to Madeline’s work. The issue? Mike has become totally disabled and cannot work. Madeline’s and Amanda’s income are inadequate to cover the mortgage.
The house was put on the market in May. There has been only one couple looking at their home.
I was agonizing; they would not be able to get rid of the house, end up in foreclosure and be forced out of the home without any place to live: an “affect storm” freezes my mind from logically processing a fearful event.
It took some time, but I finally recognized what was going on, stood back and observed what I was believing regarding the situation.
At that precise moment, the Holy Spirit prompted, “Are you willing to praise God if He says, ‘No’ and allow your family the embarrassment and financial tragedy of losing the house? Are you willing to lose your will in Mine and rest your family in My hands?
I confessed the sin of anger and frustration, acknowledging since God was going to say,” No,” I wasn’t going to pray, like a petulant child, with my lower lip stuck out.
During the day I was reminded of David’s prayer in the midst of feeling God had shut-up His compassion.
I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your wonders of old.I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds. (Ps 77:11-12 ESV)
He praised the Lord for who He was and how He works.
I was encouraged to rehearse how the Lord had led them to Wyoming, orchestrating every move, providing ways to get there, selling their house far above what they thought it would go for, buying their present home close to another granddaughter, immediately finding a job Madeline loved, the list could go on.
Saturday, June 15
Again, I had to acknowledge I did not trust God’s loving care.
As I pray for them, I have to remind myself to praise and thank the Lord that it’s a settled issue because my mind had been habituated to believing the worst for them and my emotions are all over the place.
As you have been praying regarding a personal or family circumstance, are you feeling anxious, worried or unsettled?
Recognize and allow yourself go to the worst possible scenario concerning that issue. What are you feeling? Thinking? Where the does that leave you in your relationship to God?
What if God says, “No?” Is there something you need to confess; something you need to release?
How does this situation affect your determination to keep on praying?
Paul challenges, in whatever setting, find something IN that state of affairs you can praise and thank the Lord for.
“…IN (the sphere of) every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Th. 5:18 AMP emphasis mine)
I the middle of this worst case setting, where God seems to say no, what can you thank and praise Him for?
The words of C. S. Lewis hit me like a freight train.
“Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favorite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end submit with every fiber of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/591210-give-up-yourself-and-you-will-find-your-real-self